A Comprehensive Guide by Coach Lee for people who have been broken up with by someone with whom they have children.
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The complications of relationships are profound, and when separation or breakup occurs, it becomes even more intricate if children are involved.
On his YouTube channel, Coach Lee addresses this sensitive topic in his video entitled, “No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together.”
At its core, the ‘No Contact Rule’ emphasizes distance and non-communication with an ex to heal and possibly rekindle the relationship.
However, when children come into play, a straight-forward ‘No Contact Rule’ isn’t feasible.
Thus, Coach Lee presents a modified version that considers the needs of children and the inevitable interdependencies that arise.
1. Get Your Time With Your Kids
One of the most paramount aspects of separation, especially when kids / children are involved, is ensuring both parents get quality time with their kids.
Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of not using children as pawns in post-breakup power dynamics.
Instead, he advocates for establishing clear boundaries and schedules to ensure that both parents get their due time.
This not only provides a sense of stability and routine for the children but also ensures that they continue to receive love and support from both parents.
2. Speak to your spouse or partner about the kids, property, and a shared business
It’s crucial to remember that even though the romantic aspect of the relationship may have ended for the moment, there are other ties that bind, especially concerning children, shared property, or business.
Coach Lee highlights the significance of poliote, mature, and clear communication.
If there are decisions to be made about the kids’ schooling, extracurricular activities, or other major life events, both parents should be involved.
Similarly, discussions about shared properties, financial responsibilities, or business dealings need to be approached with clarity and fairness.
To navigate these discussions, Coach Lee suggests setting specific boundaries: keep conversations brief, stick to the point, and avoid delving into emotional or past relational issues.
3. Get a lawyer
Legal intervention might seem drastic, but it can sometimes be the best way to ensure that all parties involved are treated fairly and that there’s a clear understanding of responsibilities.
A lawyer can help in drafting custody agreements, dividing shared assets, and providing guidance on shared business ventures.
Coach Lee’s advice here is not about promoting hostility but about safeguarding interests, especially when emotions run high and clear judgment might be clouded.
4. Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse to Your Kids and Demand They Respect Your Spouse
Children are impressionable, and the last thing they need during a tumultuous time of separation is to be caught in the crossfire of parental animosity.
Coach Lee stresses the importance of shielding children from the negative emotions that may arise between separated parents.
He firmly advises against speaking ill of the other parent in front of the children.
Furthermore, he underlines the importance of teaching children to respect both parents.
This creates an environment where children feel safe and reduces the emotional trauma they might experience.
5. Plan Events Your Spouse or Partner Can Attend
Even post-separation, there will be significant events in the children’s lives—be it a school play, a sports event, or a graduation ceremony.
Coach Lee encourages parents to plan such events in a way that both can attend without friction.
This not only demonstrates unity in parenting but also ensures that children get the support and love of both parents on crucial occasions.
Conclusion: In his insightful video, Coach Lee navigates the intricacies of managing the ‘No Contact Rule’ in the unique context of shared parenting.
The challenges are manifold, but with sensitivity, maturity, and a child-centric approach, it’s possible to mitigate the trauma of separation for the young ones and lay down a foundation for effective co-parenting.
Coach Lee’s guidelines serve as a roadmap for parents striving to find a balance between personal healing and their responsibilities as co-parents.
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