That sentiment often comes from the bitter observations of men who see women pursuing and doting over men who seemingly don’t treat them well or who appear to have “issues.”
While at the same time, to the casual observer, so-called “nice guys,” are often rejected and turned away by women.
“Why would she rather be with that man who is so bad to her instead of a caring guy who treats her well and genuinely values her?
Many Men Believe Women Prefer Bad Boys
This is where so many men become confused, bitter, and even give up on women.
Some men even attempt to change themselves in order to be more attractive to women by taking on the perceived traits of the “bad boy.”
He might get tattoos, buy a motorcycle, take drugs, grow his hair long (or shave his head), associate with who he considers to be bad boys, and start trying to act like a jerk to women in an effort to be more attractive to them.
It is often that the man who tries such an approach continues to feel undesired by women and throws his hands up in the air in frustration, lamenting that, “women don’t make any sense,” and that he doesn’t know what they want (and even claims that women don’t know what they want either).
I’m going to explain why so many men have such a view and go down that path with women.
There is often an important difference between perception and reality.
For example: In the movie, “Hook,” Peter Pan tells a sick Tinker Bell that he knew how to make her feel better.
He would get her a thermometer to put in her mouth. That would make her better because he had witnessed someone get better after having a thermometer in his mouth.
It’s a simple fact that often, after a sick person puts a thermometer in his/her mouth, they get better.
But it wasn’t because of the thermometer. It was incidental.
Though to the uninformed observer, in this case, Peter Pan, the thermometer was a cause of a sick person getting well.
The same is true of women seeming to be attracted to bad boys.
The reason that women seem to be attracted to bad boys is more because they are attracted to innate qualities of a bad boy of which the “bad” aspect is merely a potential and undesirable side effect.
This attraction to an innate quality is conversely true why women seem to reject and not have desire for a so-called nice guy.
Do Nice Guys Finish Last With Women?
The reason nice guys finish last with women is based on what separates the nice guys from the bad boys.
What is it?
Again, the casual observer will point to incidental observations and perceptions.
The “nice guy” buys her flowers, opens car doors, and compliments her on her looks.
But so did the fictitious bad boys Christian Grey and Edward Cullen.
Well, the bad boy says her loves her and is willing to sacrifice himself for her.
Again, so did the “bad boys” I mentioned above.
I’m not suggesting a man pattern himself after nonexistent bad boys, but, rather, I’m pointing to traits that exist in characters that many women see as an idealized version of a man.
We can’t say that those traits (affectionate words, gifts, and being a traditional gentleman) are what turn women away from the nice guy.
In fact, it’s not the “nice” part that turns them away at all.
The reason that so many women are turned away from what we often call nice guys is because the nice guy is a liar.
Yes, you read that right!
The modern-day “nice guy” is not trustworthy.
Again, you read that right.
“But Coach Lee,” you might be thinking, “I thought the exact opposite was true.”
Many people do, but women feel deep down that the “nice guy,” is a dishonest, manipulative little b*tch.
Again, you read that right.
The men we think of as nice guys are usually men who hide their true intentions.
They fake interest in whatever they think she likes.
“Nice guys” often hide their interest in sex or pretend they are uninterested.
The nice guy is afraid to tell her he has a different opinion on an issue because he is afraid of making her upset. So he fakes agreement with her in most everything.
The nice guy never makes plans with his buddies and revolves his schedule completely around her.
He lets her make all of the decisions and never asserts himself or shows leadership.
He does this in hopes that he will please her to the point that she will not leave him and will give him sex.
It’s not that I’m suggesting a man should neglect his woman for his buddies.
What I’m saying is that sometimes that is a good thing for everyone involved and the bad boy type will have times when he makes plans with friends or to do things he enjoys that don’t necessarily involve her.
The bad boy doesn’t hide his interest in sex.
A trait of a bad boy is also that if he disagrees, he will say so.
For those reason, the nice guy comes across as dishonest.
She instinctively sees him as fake and dishonest because she doesn’t buy it that he always agrees with her or that he isn’t interested in sex.
And she knows that a great guy would have friends and want to get together with them sometimes.
So to be an attractive man, you don’t have to buy a Harley and take up smoking.
You just have to be true to yourself and not treat her as a superior. Because she is not.
You can do his while still being good to her, being affectionate, buying her flowers sometimes, spending lots of time with her, and being a gentleman.
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