Category Archives: relationships

10Mar/20

3 Reasons Peter’s Feelings For Madison Are Escalating After Part 1 Of The Bachelor Finale

It seems easy for Peter to pick Hannah Ann at this point.

He clearly feels strongly about her, even admitting to ‘love at first sight.’

His parents have stated that they prefer her as well with his mother turning to tears and Madison leaving or “surrendering” to use her words.

It seems to be easy for him in that he doesn’t even have to tell either one of them ‘no.’

Peter and Hannah Ann can simply ride off into the sunset.

It’s easy. Almost too easy. And that could snatch victory from the jaws of defeat for Madison.

Here’s why:

1. The Scarcity Principle.

Madison is the one who has left. Peter is likely wondering if she is moving on in her heart and why she didn’t fight for him.

She is now the mysterious one who could be preoccupying Peter’s mind even more than before.

She is scarce meaning that her perceived “value” and, thus, level of attractiveness in Peter’s eyes could be escalating.

2. The Pressure.

Peter’s mother has been crystal clear regarding who she wants Peter to pick.

She pitched a mild fit when it seemed Peter hadn’t completely made up his mind. In fact, one could argue it seemed selfish of her, as though she wanted him to pick Hannah Ann and, therefore, Peter should choose who she wants him to or else face her tantrums.

A more appropriate response would have been for Peter’s mother to tell him that she wants him to choose who he loves and wants to be with and that she will support him whomever he picks.

As it stands now, Peter could be going through what I call Jury Syndrome.

Jury Syndrome is where people who haven’t had your experiences, your history, and your thoughts are putting themselves in the role of choosing for you (or trying to heavily influence you).

People often respond poorly to that.

This could have the opposite impact of what Peter’s mother wishes.

Peter might have been leaning toward Hannah Ann at the start of the finale, but in response to his family furiously fighting for her and being against Madison after only briefly meeting each of them, Peter showed signs of feeling the desire to defend Madison.

His feelings are strong for her as well and even if he was beginning to lean toward Hannah Ann, he likely resents a group of people making themselves judge, jury, and executioner of his life.

The likely result is at least a pause for Peter as he attempts to prevent his family’s influence from forcing his hand before he is ready.

What’s more is that meeting Peter’s family, especially the tense conversation with Peter’s disapproving mother, appears to have been an influence on Madison’s departure.

She probably figures that she won’t be able to fight the influence of Peter’s family.

This further intensifies the feeling Peter likely has of being corralled toward Hannah Ann by his parents – primarily his mother.

3. Limerence. 

I have a YouTube video called, “What is Limerence,” and in it I discuss a scientific word describing the feeling of being madly in love.

Brain chemicals, primarily dopamine, create intense feelings of desire, romance, and obsessive thoughts regarding the so-called limerent object.

What’s interesting is that Peter is likely in Limerence with both Hannah Ann and Madison, but since these chemicals fluctuate based on experiences, a perfect storm has been set up for Peter to reach new highs of Limerence for Madison.

Here’s why:

If someone is experiencing Limerence with someone, the intensity of this mental state is usually magnified by serious challenges to a relationship that could cause it to end.

This is especially true when other people attempt to sabotage a relationship or express disapproval. In that type of situation, an “us-versus-the-world,” mindset forms and massively adds fuel to the fire of Limerence.

But that’s not all in the least.

According to what has been stated on the show, Madison is a virgin.

Whereas Peter has been physically intimate with Hannah Ann, he hasn’t been with Madison.

Limerence is also fueled by a relentless desire for intimacy.

Intimacy is seeing someone naked, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. While being physically intimate with someone brings its own chemicals that cause feelings of closeness, in an unusual situation such as what Peter is going through on The Bachelor, he can find himself desiring to explore the uncharted territory of physical intimacy with Madison.

His Limerence with her could very well fixate on the fact that there is more of her to know and an upside of new adventures.

Combine that with the sense of loss that he is now likely feeling concerning her based on the timeline of the show and you have a perfect storm for Peter’s Limerence to swing strongly toward Madison.

We were told in at the end of part 1 of the finale that Madison would be coming back and the preview showed her admitting that she regretted leaving.

So whereas nothing is certain in projecting human decisions, we can be assured that Madison will at least be in the running for Peter’s heart again.

Based on the recent events that have unfolded, I can see signs that Peter’s heart might also be running in her direction.

Lee Wilson is a relationship expert and coach with nearly two decades in the relationship-recovery service. 

05Mar/20
brain on limerence

The Science of Limerence

I have completed my first lesson on TED as one of their educators.

My first offering there is a lesson on limerence and the science behind being in love (and madly so).

It’s interesting to me that we are at a point in the world of science and biology that we can map the brain to determine where “feelings,” or more accurately stated, “drives,” come from within us.  Continue reading

14Feb/20
Valentine's Day Gift

Should You Contact Your Ex On Valentine’s Day?

When you have been broken up with, Valentine’s Day can be like fingernails down a chalkboard to your heart.

Watching all the commercials, seeing your co-workers or friends get flowers from their boyfriends or balloons and chocolate from their girlfriends.

In the video below, I answer the potentially perplexing question of whether or not you should contact your ex on Valentine’s Day. Some of you are possibly even considering giving a gift to your ex on Valentine’s Day hoping that such a gesture could rekindle their love toward you.

Watch the video below as I discuss whether contacting your ex on Valentine’s Day or giving them a gift would be helpful toward your desire of getting back together with them.

If you want to get your ex back after a breakup, get more information on my Emergency Breakup Kit.

18May/19
no contact on men

Does No Contact Work On Men?

A lot of times I’m asked by coaching clients (and you can schedule a coaching call with me HERE) and clients will ask, does no contact work on men?

Be sure to watch my video above all the way through before or after you read this article.

And the answer is yes. No contact works extremely well to get an ex back, whether that’s a man or a woman and I’m not someone who pretends that men and women are the same in everything, and I think that, that concept is actually silly and unproductive.  Continue reading

13May/19

Why Women Like “Bad” Boys

We often hear that women like so-called bad boys.

That sentiment often comes from the bitter observations of men who see women pursuing and doting over men who seemingly don’t treat them well or who appear to have “issues.”

While at the same time, to the casual observer, so-called “nice guys,” are often rejected and turned away by women. Continue reading

18Jan/19
no contact on men

Just Dumped? Don’t Panic!

When we panic, we forgo the majority of our ability to use logic and reason to solve our dilemma and instead resort to a purely emotional response that usually plays into the hand of the enemy or makes us more susceptible to the danger.

A perfect example is in the case of a quarterback in football since we are all our own quarterback in life. The quarterback is like the on-field coach of the team. His decisions are paramount to the success of the team.

The quarterback, however, is vulnerable. Continue reading