BY LESLIE QUANDER WOOLDRIDGE NOV 18, 2020

Your ex is gone. The breakup feels like a mistake. Can you get back together?

It’s something a lot of guys have wondered about at some point or another. Google the phrase “how to get your ex back,” and you’ll find more than 3 billion search results.

But before you try to reunite, consider this: Do you really want your ex back, or are you just lonely? Or bored?

If either applies, please don’t be that dude texting “WYD” when you have no real plans to make an effort.

Also consider whether you want to reconnect because of pride or to get a win. “Most of us are taught from the time we were little boys [to] win, get the prize, outwork the other guy, do whatever it takes to get this target, this prize,” explains relationship coach Lee Wilson. “And sometimes that mindset goes into a relationship.”

The thought of “losing” can make you crave an ex and make them seem more attractive than they would otherwise. If you know deep down they’re not really a match, it might be better to let them go.

One more note: If there was any kind of abuse, or if you broke up due to issues like an undiagnosed mental health concern or addiction, now is likely not the time to try to get back together.

These issues can require individual attention and professional help.

All that said, if you see a real future, and you’re willing to work for a better round two, put this expert-approved plan in play.

Take responsibility for your part in the breakup.

Do you know what you did wrong? Have you grown since then?

Answer these questions for yourself. If you’re still in the “My ex is so crazy and it’s all their fault” phase, you’re probably not ready to reconcile.

If you made mistakes and want to get back together, “you’ve got to show remorse,” Wilson adds. FULL Men’s Health Interview with Coach Lee Wilson

People often ask me if I were “starting over,” without any websites or marketing/consulting clients, what I would do.

The answer might surprise you. Continue reading →

A close friend died this past week. It hasn’t been a good half of year for that in my world.

I’m reminded of the importance to live for the moment AND the future.

You don’t sell out your future for the moment, but you also don’t sell out your moment for the future because you don’t know how much of a future you have left.

I’m reminded of a quote from James Dean that I’ve often thought about:

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today. – James Dean

I have learned to live in the present.

I used to think so much about the future.

I’d work for the future, I’d dream of the future, and I’d long for the future.

I sold out the present as inferior to what was out there down the road.

But in doing that, I didn’t give value to the only thing that I had which was that day, that hour, and that minute.

The interesting thing about the present moment is that it’s slipping through your fingers.

You can never get it back.

The future seems to always be out of reach, but the present is in your hands.

You can make it great.

You can squeeze everything out of it but you cannot keep it.

The future will come so just let it.

Don’t wait on it. Don’t look to it.

Make the most of what is now and the future, when it becomes the “now,” will be more of what you want it to be.

So consider the future in your decisions, but don’t forget or discount the moment.

It’s your moment and it’s all that you have. I do recommend a book on the topic. It’s called, “The Power of Now.”

A suspected witch bottle has been unearthed by archaeologists during a dig at the site of the new Civil War Centre in Nottinghamshire.  Continue reading →