Remember that episode of Friends where Monica bought Chandler a $500 watch and he wrote her a rap song? Word. The big problem with this gift exchange? They weren’t considering one another’s love languages. When you give gifts based on someone’s love language, it’s a guaranteed hit every time.
We’ve all been there. On the receiving end of a bad gift, awkwardly pretending we’ve just been given the best present ever. We’ve also all been on the giving end, when we know we’ve completely missed the mark and just want to crawl into a hole and die. I found myself in the latter position just recently—I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into a sentimental present to find the recipient was far more excited over a bougie water bottle another friend had gifted. It still keeps me up at night!
Finding gifts that speak to your partner, friend or family member can be hard, but paying attention to their love language makes it much easier. Introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, the five love languages each have characteristics that define who we are and how we like to give and receive love. Gifting via love languages is a sure-fire way to ensure the recipient will feel loved, special, and understood.
Not sure what each love language is all about? Let’s break it down using the example of wine (which I’d argue should officially be named the sixth love language). Depending on your love language, you’d be happiest to hear or experience the following:
- Acts of Service: Can I get you a glass of wine?
- Quality Time: Would you like to have a glass of wine with me?
- Words of Affirmation: I really love the bottle of wine you chose for us.
- Physical Touch: Receiving a hug or kiss in exchange for the gift of wine.
- Receiving Gifts: I bought you a bottle of the wine you love.
That said, you don’t want to give others presents based on your own love language—when it comes to gifting, it’s all about them. If Receiving Gifts is their love language, you can’t go wrong, but the others require a little brainstorming before you hit the shops.
What happens if you don’t know another person’s love language? Lee Wilson, Relationship Expert and Coach, suggests asking what their favorite gift was as a child and as an adult. He says the answer is “usually a gift that has meaning behind it,” which will help you determine where their values lie. READ FULL ARTICLE