This is Coach Lee and I’m going to talk to you about what happens when your ex feels your loss.
What I mean is that after the breakup, when they feel like you are possibly going to get away from them, that you could be happy without them, and that they could actually want you back at some point and not be able to get you back (you’re using the no contact rule, right?), this is what happens:
1. They have to experience a REAL breakup
A real breakup is where you don’t enable them to learn to live without you.
You don’t enable them to move on from you and you’re not holding their hand and making it easy for them by being their friend or communicating with them a lot or telling them constantly that you are waiting for them to come back.
If you do those things, your ex will feel that getting back together with you is just something that if they ever choose, that they can have.
However, when you don’t do those things, they have to experience a real breakup.
They have to actually go through it.
And you may be thinking, well why would that matter since they wanted it over to begin with?
Well they did and they had a different view of you (which I’m going to talk about a little later in this post) but basically what happens is that at the breakup they assume you will always want them back and that this could just be a pause if that’s all they wanted it to be.
They probably think that you’ll just wait forever.
Your ex probably wouldn’t say that exactly in those words and they might not even admit that they feel that way even to themselves but that is what they likely feel at a gut level and it’s causing them to move forward with confidence because they have options in their mind and you are one of them – you are a backup plan if this breakup doesn’t go like they think it will.
So if they think you will remain that way, it’s easy for them to stay away from you and to do whatever they want.
During this time they might be with whoever they want because they assume if they change their mind, that they could get you back so there’s no pressure.
But when you give them a real breakup, you make them sit in their own mess and it can be a beautiful thing to see when they realize you aren’t going to bail them out and that they could have made a big mistake.
Before I get to number two, take a quick second and subscribe to my YouTube channel so you can be notified when I have other videos on relationship dynamics, anxiety, attraction, love, and breakups.
Number two – this one is overlooked a lot. Watch the video above for more…
I HIGHLY recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit.
With it you can gain immensely from my two decades in the relationship-recovery service.
It is a powerful guide to help you get your ex back!
I truly wish you the very best!